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 the garden widower

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Karma : 281

PostSubject: the garden widower   August 13th 2010, 9:46 pm

When I first met Belinda things were super,
We wed and yet our early married life
Revealed I'd made an elementary blooper
Because her favourite pastime brought me strife.

Aware how she was very keen on gardening,
I tried to make it work, I did my best,
Though gradually I felt relations hardening,
A hobby's fine but she was quite obsessed.

Attracted by her wit and so curvaceous,
Belinda seemed the perfect catch to me,
I didn't dream that everything herbaceous
And evergreen would undermine my glee.

I always hoped in vain maybe tomorrow might
Return the spark then love could be reborn,
While she stocked up on her supply of Tomorite
For flowers that surrounded our lush lawn.

She even bought a gnome, a wizened migdet,
She dubbed him Mr O'Shea and alone
He made me so uncomfortable I'd fidget,
He stared up at me from his comfy stone.

Her friends, Maxine and simpering Veronica
Would often visit, boring me to death
Discussing compost, fuschia and japonica,
I saw them as the witches from Macbeth.

The final straw came at a garden centre,
We argued badly and I stormed off home;
I lost my rag, I let the red mist enter
Then grabbed my hammer and rushed to her gnome.

He seemed to represent domestic trouble,
I swung the hammer hard, after my hits
Decapitated cleanly at the double
Old Mr O'Shea shattered into bits.

Belinda got back and she hit the roof of course,
She cited my act as another piece
Of evidence to manufacture our divorce,
Admitting guilt I longed for that release.

Belinda's gone and with her all the yelling,
Today I'm in a flat, what makes it pass
The test as my ideal and chosen dwelling?
It doesn't have a single blade of grass.

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Posts : 365
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Location : Liverpool. UK

PostSubject: Re: the garden widower   August 14th 2010, 8:10 pm

Oh I just loved this a touch of sadness
but also humor. EXALT
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Posts : 166
Karma : 46
Location : Long Island New York

PostSubject: Re: the garden widower   August 16th 2010, 4:05 pm


Silverhenge this was a funny write and in the end everyone reaped from what they had sown hahahahaha
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Posts : 471
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Location : Hertfordshire, U.K

PostSubject: Re: the garden widower   August 22nd 2010, 8:12 pm

Very funny write silverhenge, perfect rhyme, as usual. Really made me smile, thanks for sharing, ptp x
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PostSubject: Re: the garden widower   September 22nd 2010, 1:03 pm

Who are these people that breed gnomes. There is a house a mile away from me that is a veritable gnome’s playground. Sad gnomes, happy gnomes, fishing gnomes etc, they have even provided them with a slide and a swing and in a corner I swear that two of these stunted pieces of pottery are engaged in sex.
I am in complete agreement with your act of violence, lend me your hammer.

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