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 Legal Asphyxiation

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Posts : 1616
Karma : 230
Location : under the oak tree with Kiki

PostSubject: Legal Asphyxiation   November 23rd 2010, 8:14 am


I guess I should have known better...
I'm thinking.. as I'm getting wetter
..than to have taken that last job
of representing the guy from the mob..

It seems my last employer
Was looking for a top dollar lawyer,
He paid me alot of money, I gave a great defense
(Even if the papers said it didn't make alot of sense..)

"Your honor," I argued, "My clients not at fault
He is not the man who locked the defendant in the vault
It was the states witness, the one who wore the recorder
Yea, so what if he was just following an order


The truth wasn't helping, so I tried another ploy
"Your honor," I said, "normally my client is a good boy,
But that night he decided to drink an energy drink
Between the caffeine and sugar, he just couldn't think

The makers of the drink should be the ones on trial
It's not my clients fault he picked up a bat and got hostile
It is the drink that is dangerous.. why, I just had one
It makes me want to take out and fire my gun

(which I did..)

That got the judges attention, after I posted bail
My client's son asked me if I liked to sail
He put me in the back seat, after a couple hours driving
He changed his mind, decided I should try diving..

He chained a weight to me and tossed me overboard
It only took a minute to wiggle out of that cord
But when I got to the surface, I was alone
The only thing I found was my floating cell phone..

now, everyone knows..

You can't exactly make a call until the battery drys out
(which might be awhile considering all the water about..)
I'm starting to think I've been fired, it sure seems that way
I don't see how I'm going to make it to court in time today..


there is a large fin in the water!! ooh boy, that's new
I sure hope what they say about lawyers and sharks is true
Although in truth I wasn't much of a lawyer, I suppose
.. I wonder what it is that is nibbling on my toes?

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PostSubject: Re: Legal Asphyxiation   November 26th 2010, 2:28 pm

Sir Daniel, it is wonderful to see you with your humor
back with us!! This was just stellar!!! Wouldn't we all
love to take somebody and throw them to the sharks???
yes, we all have a someone we would slate as shark bait.
This was humorous and I enjoyed.. EXALT!!! So good to
see you in good form. tc
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Posts : 377
Karma : 28

PostSubject: Re: Legal Asphyxiation   November 28th 2010, 4:25 pm

I see you've still got it, Daniel, I laughed my behind off, especially at his second defense strategy. Wink

Will write, read and comment for food, when in the mood. Smile
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Dr Fogg


Posts : 1277
Karma : 255
Location : Devon, England.

PostSubject: Re: Legal Asphyxiation   January 12th 2011, 8:20 am

I read this in the bi annual humour comp and guessed it was yours right away. It's hillarious and oh so witty. Well done chum.


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Posts : 150
Karma : 81
Location : South Carolina

PostSubject: Re: Legal Asphyxiation   January 13th 2011, 9:03 pm


Daniel, this has got to be one of the funniest things I have EVER read.

Genius! EXALTED!

Growing old is Mandatory; Growing Up is Optional

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