I Wanna be a Hero

I Wanna be a Hero



I wanna be a hero
Just like you my dear old dad
Well come and sit down here beside me
Now what do you want to know my lad
~
I want to join your regiment
The Fighting Foot and Mouth
But tell me when the war was in the north
Why they went a’charging to the south
~
Ah son, that was General Fleetfoot
A fine upstanding chap
A real credit to our nation
Trouble was he couldn’t read a map
~
We ended up in Boko Land
Were the women are six foot five
And desperate for some frolic and passion
Cos their men were half alive
~
Now Boko women are not beautiful
Not what you could call top drawer
With muscles that men would die for
They are eighteen stone, or even more
~
But a soldier must do what he must do
So I took up with a maiden called Cher
She was like a spitting volcano
And I learnt a lot about women from her
~
Now all of our lads did their duty
We were at it all day and all night
And the Boko women were so grateful
That they all joined us in the good fight
~
Now no one could face Cher and her mates
The war was soon over, no great surprise
Cos no one could stand with his weapon in hand
No son, they just run for their bloody lives
~
So for services beyond the call of duty
I was awarded all these medals I suppose
But I’d swap all the fame and the glamour
If Ma would wear a ring through her nose.