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 Suicide by bolt action

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Posts : 150
Karma : 81
Location : South Carolina

PostSubject: Suicide by bolt action   January 12th 2011, 11:34 pm

Suicide by bolt action

It happened in Texas,
as within the story it read,
That a sorry, depressed Texan,
Was found in his home, dead.

Shot 5 times in the chest,
Bolt action rifle by his side.
The Coroner and Sherriff's best guess?
A clear case of . . . Suicide???

A suicide? Oh Really?
The mere thought made me exclaim.
My laughter made me teary.
Of my logic, let me explain.

This rifle must be loaded,
Shot after shot, by hand.
To be able to shoot oneself 5 times?
I simply failed to understand.

How could someone be so desperate
As to shoot himself, and then,
Pick himself up off the carpet,
Only to do the deed, AGAIN?

Perhaps I do not posses the ability
Or the despair, to have the will,
To be able to shoot myself critically,
Over and over, until the body's still.

Why if I were to fire, say thrice.
And saw I had never missed.
But found to my chagrin to be alive
I'd simply say "Screw it, You know what? I can live with this!"

"This is a true story!
Oh, not to me, but a Texas man. Ron Shock, Comedian and story teller tells this story (differently of course) in one of the original 'Blue Collar Comedy Tours'.
Check YouTube at www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRqyy-OQLHU to watch it. I tried to embed it but is been disabled for this.

Growing old is Mandatory; Growing Up is Optional

Check out my other work

Last edited by PCShogun on March 1st 2011, 1:04 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Suicide by bolt action   January 25th 2011, 12:53 pm

A tragic comedy indeed. Satire at it height.
You did this morbid tale justice my friend. And
you left me questioning as well, how could you
shoot yourself dead 5 times? Enjoyed. tc
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Posts : 1443
Karma : 327

PostSubject: Re: Suicide by bolt action   March 12th 2011, 10:05 pm

Lol, "only in America", pcshogun! It doesn't makes the "suicide" decision any easier to accept but your smooth flow and mostly-rhymed stanzas make easy reading. Good job, H x

We ask all members to reply to at least 2 other writes for each of yours that you post. Remember to enter Brain Box Contests and vote in Polls to help decide the winners. Find a great poem? Please PM staff to nominate it as Weekly Featured Poem.
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Baseball Poetess


Posts : 687
Karma : 185

PostSubject: Re: Suicide by bolt action   March 21st 2011, 8:43 am

This is well-penned. Did you send a copy to him?
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Posts : 4
Karma : 1

PostSubject: Re: Suicide by bolt action   March 30th 2011, 7:40 pm

Quite tragic to hear, yes, but I can see the humor in this. I have a bolt action, and I know for a fact after I would shoot myself with it, I wouldn't be getting back up to reload. Nice, catchy write.

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Dr Fogg


Posts : 1277
Karma : 255
Location : Devon, England.

PostSubject: Re: Suicide by bolt action   April 6th 2011, 7:21 am

Not only funny it was bloody well written well done.


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PostSubject: Re: Suicide by bolt action   April 25th 2011, 11:44 pm

Not many poems make me laugh but this did very much. Great poem.
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