Legal Asphyxiation

L E G A L
A S P H Y X I A T I O N





I guess I should have known better...
I'm thinking.. as I'm getting wetter
..than to have taken that last job
of representing the guy from the mob..

It seems my last employer
Was looking for a top dollar lawyer,
He paid me alot of money, I gave a great defense
(Even if the papers said it didn't make alot of sense..)

"Your honor," I argued, "My clients not at fault
He is not the man who locked the defendant in the vault
It was the states witness, the one who wore the recorder
Yea, so what if he was just following an order.."

well..

The truth wasn't helping, so I tried another ploy
"Your honor," I said, "normally my client is a good boy,
But that night he decided to drink an energy drink
Between the caffeine and sugar, he just couldn't think

The makers of the drink should be the ones on trial
It's not my clients fault he picked up a bat and got hostile
It is the drink that is dangerous.. why, I just had one
It makes me want to take out and fire my gun.."

(which I did..)

That got the judges attention, after I posted bail
My client's son asked me if I liked to sail
He put me in the back seat, after a couple hours driving
He changed his mind, decided I should try diving..

He chained a weight to me and tossed me overboard
It only took a minute to wiggle out of that cord
But when I got to the surface, I was alone
The only thing I found was my floating cell phone..

now, everyone knows..

You can't exactly make a call until the battery drys out
(which might be awhile considering all the water about..)
I'm starting to think I've been fired, it sure seems that way
I don't see how I'm going to make it to court in time today..


HEY..

there is a large fin in the water!! ooh boy, that's new
I sure hope what they say about lawyers and sharks is true
Although in truth I wasn't much of a lawyer, I suppose
.. I wonder what it is that is nibbling on my toes?