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 The Thread Moved Downward

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PCShogun

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Posts : 150
Karma : 81
Location : South Carolina

PostSubject: The Thread Moved Downward   February 8th 2011, 1:09 pm

The Thread Moved Downward


Rhyming in prose, vocabulary flexed.
I pour my soul into a literary text,
I post on this forum, a poets test,
The thread moves down; the poet is vexed.

Does no one see my rhyming perfection?
The careful words I wrote, inviting reflection?
Eagerly awaiting the crowds affection.
The thread moves downward; sad rejection.

“Oh Dear God!, What does it take?”
To move the masses for a comment to make!
Perhaps they are sleeping? No longer awake?
Or is my masterpiece simply a fake?


Growing old is Mandatory; Growing Up is Optional

Check out my other work
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Jamie

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Posts : 2215
Karma : 233
Location : Vermont

PostSubject: Re: The Thread Moved Downward   February 8th 2011, 2:28 pm

*exalt* Simply for putting into words what so many of us often feel. Heh, my karma at TPS has been stalled for months now, too. :pout:


Please reply to 2 poems for each original piece that you post. Taking time to read others' work and leave them comments encourages them to do the same, keeping the forums active & interactive.

Cavalry Scream Chicken
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Dr Fogg

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Posts : 1277
Karma : 255
Location : Devon, England.

PostSubject: Re: The Thread Moved Downward   February 8th 2011, 5:38 pm

Wonderful stuff, you really hit the button with this, speaking of buttons Jamie I think my Karma must be stalled too. I think I shoudf have a least 500 more than I do.See if you cant get the wonderful H to bump mine up a bit.
Anyway great poem my friend.





~






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Granny_Weatherwax

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Posts : 377
Karma : 28

PostSubject: Re: The Thread Moved Downward   February 8th 2011, 6:42 pm

LOL, I'm pretty sure this one won't get rejected, I enjoyed it very much, PC, the second stanza really made me laugh! Very Happy


Will write, read and comment for food, when in the mood. Smile


Last edited by Granny_Weatherwax on February 8th 2011, 6:44 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Daniel

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Posts : 1616
Karma : 230
Location : under the oak tree with Kiki

PostSubject: Re: The Thread Moved Downward   February 8th 2011, 6:43 pm

amazingly clever.. I LOVE poems about writing and what we think as we are waiting on the reactions of our work..

~ Daniel

ps - Foggy, I thought you knew that I bought your karma from Fergie.. I'm in the process of buying your car from her..
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Harklight

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Posts : 1443
Karma : 327

PostSubject: Re: The Thread Moved Downward   February 8th 2011, 6:50 pm

You write nothing that is "fake", pcshogun. We all in the same boat, all feel it, so please don't be vexed. The word choices, topic, rhyme and flow in this poem earn Exalt! H x



We ask all members to reply to at least 2 other writes for each of yours that you post. Remember to enter Brain Box Contests and vote in Polls to help decide the winners. Find a great poem? Please PM staff to nominate it as Weekly Featured Poem.
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Isobelle

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Posts : 1832
Karma : 359
Location : amongst the stars ~

PostSubject: Re: The Thread Moved Downward   February 9th 2011, 6:52 am

....and it's an exalt from me too - fantastic write xxxxx


The feather landed gently at his feet. The boy looked back up at the sky and let his balloon go. It was a fair trade. ~ quote by Dominic my wonderful son

Please remember to reply to 2 poems for each of your own.Thank you so much Drama

"...and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same ...." ~ Marianne Williamson
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