An Appeal by Her Majesty.

An appeal by her Majesty the Queen.

(Broadcast live in a phone in to the Atticus Black show, Radio Daytona Sat 12th June)


Dear Mr. Black It’s so good you’ve had me back
But I’m afraid that things have been orf since last we spoke
I’m referring to, of course, my son Andrews’s sad divorce
From that Fergie woman, you know the one that’s broke.

Well she’s selling everything she can, to get some cash
Like appearing on that Oprah Winfrey’s Bash
Selling orf her children’s toys and various other ploys
I’ve heard she’s maybe even selling hash.

Whilst reclining on my bed, I heard my husband Phillip in the loo
Yelling “God! She sold the bathroom tissues too”
“It’s come to a pretty pass, when a chap can’t wipe his arse”
So you see dear Atticus we’re somewhat in a stew.

And she’s sold the turf right orf the palace lawn
If you don’t believe, me google it, its gawn.
I don’t know where I’ll walk the corgies, to do their Georgie porgies
I’m really very angry and forlorn.

And now she has confirmed my deepest fears
Its the worst thing she has done for many years
She’s running a competition that is bordering on sedition
It’s guess the weight of poor Prince Charlie's ears.

To be honest our entire nations finances are hairy
We sold you London bridge and the Queen Mary
But one of the biggest shocks was when we sold you Cadburys chocs
The thought of missing my curly wurly is just plain scarey.

But it’s just occurred to me you might like to buy BP
I hear theyre giving you the oil at zero cost
Gawd knows what it’s costin but it reminds me so of Boston
When into the sea our finest tea was tossed.

So you see my situation as monarch of this nation
Fergie flogging all our treasures orf, is most unfair
I need to raise cash too and so I think of you
Dear Mr. Black, spare us a dime cos I’ve heard you are a multi millionaire.