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 A Burning Issue.

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Dr Fogg


Posts : 1277
Karma : 255
Location : Devon, England.

PostSubject: A Burning Issue.   February 27th 2011, 7:54 am

Monday 21st February 2011 85p (ono)

A Burning Issue.


Redditch, Worcestershire, England. Local councillors at Redditch
council voted this week to accept a rather unusual energy
saving scheme. They are to use the surplus heat from their local
crematorium to heat the adjacent Abbey swimming pool.
The council claim this will reduce the heating bill for the pool
by 30% and makes use of heat which can reach 800 degrees c,
which would otherwise be wasted to the atmosphere.

Council leader Carole Gandy: 'It will make
absolutely no difference to the
people using the crematorium'

Local undertaker Simon Thomas, of Thomas Brothers
Funeral Directors, said: “I don’t know how comfortable
people would feel about the swimming pool being
heated due to the death of a loved one”.

The council also received many E-Mails and letters from
concerned members of the public. Many described
the whole scheme as being “sick” and some people
saying they would not feel comfortable in using this
pool ever again. But councillor Gandy stated
“This is common practise in many European countries,
Germany and Sweden for instance.

The Bungle News Team fully endorse this forward
looking scheme and in fact think the council have
not fully considered all the benefits that may accrue.
For instance grieving relatives might choose to
forgo the tradition post funeral wake, for a dip in
a pool heated by their own granny. What a lovely
way to feel just that bit closer.

Pool officials could have a sign attributing the days
heat to specific individuals.

Local newspapers could advise pool users of the times
the pool will be heated with the obituary notices in the paper.

“Tragic rail accident, twenty dead, pool heated next Tuesday.


"Fat Jim goes tits up, extra warm pool next Friday".

We must all remember that it is these kinds of innovative
schemes that will help us to give global warming a “Bloody nose”

Dr Fogg



Last edited by Drfogg on March 4th 2011, 1:51 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: A Burning Issue.   March 4th 2011, 11:51 am

"It is true that Germany made huge advances in
cremation techniques in the 1940’s"

Dr. Fogg, it was good except for the sick humor in reference
to cremation of the Jews in the lines above. I can only say it
truly is unique. tc

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PostSubject: Re: A Burning Issue.   August 30th 2012, 11:37 am

Foggy, this is really up there! Very slanted and avanguard! I can see the twisted humor
in this, truly I can! Well done! Enjoyed immensely! EXALT!!! Razz
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Baseball Poetess


Posts : 687
Karma : 185

PostSubject: Re: A Burning Issue.   September 5th 2012, 3:16 pm

hahahaha .... I love the sponsorship idea.
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Dr Fogg


Posts : 1277
Karma : 255
Location : Devon, England.

PostSubject: Re: A Burning Issue.   September 5th 2012, 3:41 pm

What may not be apparent in this piece is that the core story is absolutely true. Thanks for the comments.



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Posts : 741
Karma : 241

PostSubject: Re: A Burning Issue.   September 30th 2012, 11:18 am

Dear Sir,

May I donate in advance; my husband Norman though I must confess how much he could add to the Fahrenheit reading is somewhat dubious because in over 50yrs of marriage he has never warmed the cockles of my heart.

Yours faithfully,
Molly Molestrangler.

Ah I loved this friend, have you mentioned this to Cameron though on second thoughts he probably has this in mind for his next gimmick.
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