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 Honest John's

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Dr Fogg

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Location : Devon, England.

PostSubject: Honest John's   April 14th 2010, 5:40 am



Honest John the Mechanic.

My car is misfiring, no doubt something simple
Please Mr Mechanic have a little Tinkle.

(Sharp intake of breath)
It’s probably a computer chip hardly something minor
They are as rare a rocking horse s---, because they’re made in china!

(Desperation setting in)
But it could be just damp leads or dirt in the fuel line?
Could you check those first, if you have the time.

(Irritating false sympathetic look)
I could spend all day looking for little things
Best put it on the diagnostic kit, the sun 6503-faultfinder two with wings.

(Getting resigned to huge expense)
Well you’re the expert of course, you best do it I suppose
Though how I’ll raise the finance, god only knows.

(Evil cynical smile that’s says gotcha!)
Just drive into the bay and I’ll connect some leads
To the computer, battery and other similar feeds.

(Watching the mechanic pop in a disc for his model)
Oh Mr Mechanic, is it looking bad?
I don’t understand these things it’s the first car I ever had.


(The mechanic checks the read out then gasps in amazement)
Oh dear oh dear, your tachion beam is off
The warp drive is shattered and the impulse engines shot
The phaser bank has all but gone
And of the dilithium crystals, well, I can’t find none!
Oh and look the tricorder shows the shuttle’s out of gear!
One thing for sure my friend, this is going to cost yer.

(Sinking feeling)
Ok you better do it I have no other choice
I said these words real slow to hide the tremble in my voice.

(The mechanic is unable to conceal his pleasure)
Just go and sit in reception have a cup of tea
If all goes well, we’ll be done by half past three
He takes the disc out of the Sun 6503
And places it in the case which reads “Star Trek the Movie”.

Dr Fogg


Copyright ©2010. HW Harborne





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Granny_Weatherwax

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PostSubject: Re: Honest John's   April 14th 2010, 5:48 am

Lol, never pegged you as a fan of Star trek. Very Happy This was hilarious.


Will write, read and comment for food, when in the mood. Smile
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Dr Fogg

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Location : Devon, England.

PostSubject: Re: Honest John's   April 14th 2010, 6:41 am

Yea I'm a trekky lol, i love most sci fi stuff. i also used to be a mechanic and I have witnessed the way some garages pounce on uniformed customers and mercilessly rip them off.





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Daniel

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Location : under the oak tree with Kiki

PostSubject: Re: Honest John's   April 14th 2010, 10:12 am

ooh gosh, I used to HATE to take the car to the shop.. but then I got lucky and became friends (thru my former job) with the old man who owns the local garage and he has been a lifesaver for me. He gives me the best deal (I know he makes very little money from me) and he has even come and started my car when it died miles away from his shop. If ever I must leave my car for the day, he always offers me a ride home and to pick me up (usually I turn him down as I enjoy the walk) and he is just a kind soul.

As for the star-trek-ie thing..

Back in the early 90's, when I moved here.. my g-friend's Mom was a HUGE trekkie and she got me hooked on the Next Generation. This was the time they were just starting a local "Trekkie Club" and I was the only person willing to go to the meetings with her. So.. this being the first of the meetings ever locally, they were organizing the clubs and they were assigning everyone "duties" and somehow, I have no clue how.. I became the first "navigator".. I only went to a couple meetings ever (but they were cool as the only thing people did was watch Star Trek, talk about it and eat snacks). I never ever went to a Trekkie convention and I'm sure I would have never dressed up in those silly clothes but I would have loved to have met Shatner or Nemoy or Patrick Stewart.. Today I rarely ever watch Star Trek, and if I do it is always Next Generation (although the new movie wasn't half bad)

Enjoyed my friend, watch out for the Borg..

~ Captain Daniel
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Dr Fogg

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PostSubject: Re: Honest John's   April 14th 2010, 2:42 pm

Well Dan i wonder if you did attend a convention which character you would go as?
I rather like Voyager, mainly because of 7 of nine, she gets my impulse drive going every time.





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Daniel

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PostSubject: Re: Honest John's   April 14th 2010, 2:48 pm

no question, I would go as Data's long re-programed evil half-brother. Is that even logical?
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Granny_Weatherwax

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PostSubject: Re: Honest John's   April 14th 2010, 2:53 pm

Lol, I wouldn't worry about it, Star trek has never been known for its logic and coherence. Very Happy


Will write, read and comment for food, when in the mood. Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Honest John's   April 14th 2010, 4:02 pm

Yeah, you can always take it off the lift
for a second opinion!!! LOL... You penned this
so wonderfully... the world if full of crooks like
these, a dime a dozen.... Another great write!
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hearmyverse



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PostSubject: Re: Honest John's   April 14th 2010, 4:45 pm

Great fun Foggy but so true sounds like
when I last took my car to KWIK FIT.
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Isobelle

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PostSubject: Re: Honest John's   April 16th 2010, 12:44 pm

Beam me up Scottie Rolling Eyes The best Startrek was the one with Capt'n Kirk in it if you ask me, and Leonard Nimmoy of course ....

anyway, this made me laugh out loud Foggy, you're certainly back on form my friend, this was so funny and so bloomin true, I can just imagine those rip off merchants at kwik fit fobbing you off LOL .... great stuff, K xxx I love you


The feather landed gently at his feet. The boy looked back up at the sky and let his balloon go. It was a fair trade. ~ quote by Dominic my wonderful son

Please remember to reply to 2 poems for each of your own.Thank you so much Drama

"...and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same ...." ~ Marianne Williamson
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feralpen



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PostSubject: Re: Honest John's   April 18th 2010, 2:26 am

Drfogg;

You ran the gambit of emotions I have EVERY time I go to see my mechanic. I might suggest however that you have your fellow upgrade to the Sun 6503-C. It also indicates when there are Tribbles in the tranny.

This was a fun read. Your wit and humor are a bright spot for me.

Live long and prosper

fp
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silverhenge

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PostSubject: Re: Honest John's   April 18th 2010, 7:46 am

A poem that rings so true, despite the humour. Been there, bought the T-shirt Twisted Evil Razz
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