The Night Before Christmas.

The Night Before Christmas.

T’was the night before Christmas in the house of the master
Chamber maids dusted and polished the plaster
Carpenters drilled and sanded the wood
Cook stuffed the turkey and stuffed it real good.

The master to study retired with cigar
Sat slurping brandy in front of the fire
He drank all evening and got very p-----
To get to his bed he had the butler assist.

Then all was quiet no sound could be heard
Apart from a sizzling from the poor turkey bird
And the click of latches to chambermaids doors
With occasional creaks from the odd loose floor boards.

In the morning staff lined up before taking their places
All the chambermaids beaming with smiles on their faces
They had all dreamt that Saint Nick had entered their bed
Ravished them wildly, wearing white beard and red.

Mary McConnell said “oh my he was randy”
I can still smell the cigars and the fumes of the brandy
Only old cook was as miserable as usual
If you saw her you’d understand Santa’s refusal.

Dr Fogg

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