Foolproof Plans for raising nuclear chickens (as pets)

Foolproof
Plans
For
Raising
Nuclear
Chickens
(As Pets..)

Nuclear chickens are NOT easy to raise
From Devon to Daytona, they happen to be the latest craze
From the bums in slum alleys, to political rallies in Central Park
Everyone, it seems, wants a chicken that glows in the dark..

A nuclear chicken starts off, of course, as a nuclear egg
For that you will need plutonium, it might be a good idea to beg
Some third world mad scientist who wants to settle a score
Or who knows, perhaps Uncle Buddy has some plutonium in his underwear drawer

Once you find the plutonium, you hide it inside a sock
Then you wait till real late at night and sneak into your flock
Look for a hen who has settled comfortably into her nest
Be careful with your arms, she just might protest..

Assure her that the glow is nothing she should worry about
Tell her you will love her even after her feathers have fallen out
Visit her occasionally... whatever itch's, don't scratch
Be ready in three weeks when it's time for the eggs to hatch..

Moving momma chicken at this time might be a good bet
The sight of two headed glowing babies could make her upset
Handle them very carefully, try not to excite
They may look cute and cuddly, but they have one mean bite..

Let them run around inside your house, they get charged up when they play
Five minutes in front of your lamp will give it enough power to run all day
There you have it, my friend, If you follow these rules you should have no regrets
From my foolproof plans for raising nuclear chickens (as pets..)

2010

Guest

Now this is funny!
It is so ludicrous that it is funny!
EXALT Sir Daniel! Way to go!

Posts : 1277 Karma : 255 Location : Devon, England.

Eggceptional, when I saw the title I thought I know Daniel can pullet off. I do have one question though, do two headed chickens eat twice as much?

thank you both for your comments, I had fun writing this and Foggy, in case you didn't see.. this was written with you in mind (the chickens are from your past and the mention of Devon..)

and to answer your question, no.. they do NOT eat twice as much because they share a tummy..

thanks again,

~ Daniel

Posts : 166 Karma : 46 Location : Long Island New York

could you imagine the omlet that could have been made instead :-)
very funny write Daniel, thanks for sharing

Guest

Danielllllllll Roll Laughing

I

I'm sorry I just Roll Laughing

Can't stop Roll Laughing

OMG FUNNY!!!

Hugs, Roll Laughing

Falling Leaf.........

Posts : 300 Karma : 53 Location : New South Wales

LMAO......very funny Dan.

:hilarious: Roll Laughing

I never wanted to write this post. Life, however, brings to us changes of necessity, not changes we want.

Unfortunately, and as evidenced by the past few months' activities, I do not have the time to properly govern the use of this site anymore. While there are visitors every day, the posts by members are becoming fewer and farther between, and the staff participation is just as sparse.

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