| | FORGET THE TOOTHBRUSH IF YOU MUST - BUT NOT THE DRESSING GOWN | |
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nortan223
Posts : 124 Karma : 28 Location : Essex UK
| Subject: FORGET THE TOOTHBRUSH IF YOU MUST - BUT NOT THE DRESSING GOWN April 11th 2013, 12:17 pm | |
| All I had was a phone call From the Hospital to go for a test They said they would send me a letter With instructions, but as you have guessed. It never arrived, so I failed to take A dressing gown – As no one had said That I’d have to strip.so they gave me, instead A substitute, but the thing they supplied Was a flowery back-to-front, loosely tied Cotton affair that scarcely concealed My front, and my rump was clearly revealed.
So a second gown worn the other way round Preserved my modesty but was far from chic. But worse was to come, as I later found. It was simply a National Health confidence trick. Now the first exploration was not too traumatic. And showed that everything was OK But this, at my age was problematic So I’d need to go for a scan and X-ray.
So still dressed like a clown, I was then sent down To a completely different section And after wandering through corridors, for what seemed miles I lost my sense of direction. Embarrassed by my appearance and quite overwrought My mind took on a bizarre new thought Was this humiliation carefully planned To see how much trauma and stress I could stand
.Then amidst this reverie, a member of staff Tapped me on the shoulder “Excuse me Sir, Are you in the right place I waved my patient’s folder. “I’m looking for X Ray,” I tersely replied (By now I was really embarrassed) And the last thing I wanted , was for some jobsworth type To make me feel even more harassed.
His face was twitching, trying to stifle a smile And I began to wish I was dead. Then he raised his eyes heavenward for a while To a sign hanging over my head . I looked up too, then felt even more stressed For I was now at the Mortuary and Chapel of Rest.
So I was guided to X Ray and given a seat . And my humiliation was now complete Among all the Outpatients, who tried not to grin At this bizarrely dressed male mannequin. Now the Hospital Shops are so orthodox . They have cakes, sweets and drinks among their stocks And you might be lucky with toothbrushes and soap But if you want a dressing gown - you haven't a hope..
Last edited by nortan223 on April 11th 2013, 4:57 pm; edited 1 time in total | |
| | | sicksoul
Posts : 31 Karma : 9 Location : The black hole that is Nebraska
| Subject: Re: FORGET THE TOOTHBRUSH IF YOU MUST - BUT NOT THE DRESSING GOWN April 11th 2013, 4:40 pm | |
| Rofl My moms probably your age or older, and we've gone through this routine many times: Now the first exploration was not too traumatic. And showed that everything was OK But this, at my age was problematic So I’d need to go for a scan and X-ray.
Probably hoping to make sure you haven't short-changed them... they'll see the quarters in your pockets.. greedy.. never minds.. lol That you ended up in the chapel/ morgue for a moment left me with tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard- I swear when they plan the lay-out for hospitals it's implied to be like the different levels of purgatory. If you don't mind I might share this with my mom, she'd get a kick out of it too^^ | |
| | | Daniel
Posts : 1616 Karma : 230 Location : under the oak tree with Kiki
| Subject: Re: FORGET THE TOOTHBRUSH IF YOU MUST - BUT NOT THE DRESSING GOWN April 15th 2013, 11:09 pm | |
| one would imagine with all the money health care makes from us they could afford to dress us in something better than a gown.. yet they don't (although I do have a secret thought we are dressed like we are simply so the nurses can have a good laugh every night on what would be a pretty boring job). I enjoyed your easy to follow tale and I can really feel for you.
Best wishes,
Daniel | |
| | | Crimson.Dawn
Posts : 80 Karma : 12 Location : The Philippines
| Subject: Re: FORGET THE TOOTHBRUSH IF YOU MUST - BUT NOT THE DRESSING GOWN May 20th 2013, 10:00 pm | |
| LOL!!! ) I remembered my own experience which was quite similar to this. Still I'm smiling! | |
| | | TheArtofALyssaBLando
Posts : 43 Karma : 12
| Subject: Re: FORGET THE TOOTHBRUSH IF YOU MUST - BUT NOT THE DRESSING GOWN May 22nd 2013, 11:30 pm | |
| Hospitals. . . You know, I think they designed those gown to fit improperly on purpose, even I, being tiny, 5 feet tall have never worn one that's fit, LOL.
Oh, and it doesn't matter how big it is, your buttocks (yes I said buttocks, haha) always hangs out the back. | |
| | | nortan223
Posts : 124 Karma : 28 Location : Essex UK
| Subject: Re: FORGET THE TOOTHBRUSH IF YOU MUST - BUT NOT THE DRESSING GOWN May 23rd 2013, 12:22 pm | |
| There are some things in life that are stranger and funnier than fiction. This was one of them. So glad to have received these appreciative comments.
Norman | |
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Had We But Worlds Enough, And Time . . . | November 5th 2013, 11:57 am by Jamie | I never wanted to write this post. Life, however, brings to us changes of necessity, not changes we want.
Unfortunately, and as evidenced by the past few months' activities, I do not have the time to properly govern the use of this site anymore. While there are visitors every day, the posts by members are becoming fewer and farther between, and the staff participation is just as sparse.
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New Poetry Prompt! | July 25th 2013, 2:21 pm by Jamie | Hi friends!
It's been a busy summer for us here at Poet Share, as the sunshine has called us away more than usual. We've posted a new poetry prompt today for you summery, adventurous types.
Let us know if you have any questions or concerns via PM if we're not on site. We hope to be back online fully staffed by mid-September!
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