| | KEYBOARD CONFESSIONAL | |
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nortan223
Posts : 124 Karma : 28 Location : Essex UK
| Subject: KEYBOARD CONFESSIONAL March 26th 2013, 9:36 am | |
| KEYBOARD CONFESSIONAL
This is part of an actual newspaper article: ……….. is developing a computerised system to cater for those with sins too embarrassing to disclose to the local priest. The Automatic Confession Machine requires the guilty to type in their sins on a computer keyboard and will provide a print-out of penance in the form of Hail Marys and Our Fathers. The program first requires the penitent to type in the customary ***"Bless me Father, for I have sinned"
The Computer responds by instructing the sinner to type in the number of days since the last confession. The user then types in the number of venial or mortal sins, selecting from a list of the Seven Deadly Sins and the Ten Commandments. Additional details are then required before the program can come up with a dispassionate assessment.
***"Bless me Fathed, for I have sinned" Now did I type “r” or a “d” ?? For if it isn't correct Will the program reject This act of contrition from me.?
But I think I'm a mega-bit worried How this high-tech Father Confessor Through computerisation Can give dispensation With the speed of a micro-processor
But it's more fun than spending my Fridays Sitting inside a dark box Routinely reciting What I find exciting To celibate men in dark frocks
But this program could be so efficient I could do my penance with ease Though my typing speed varies It should print fifty Hail Marys In seconds, with a mouse and two keys.
And if this does not leave me spotless And free from sin and transgression I can then only hope An email to the Pope Will grant me the normal concession.,
Should Computerese then supersede Latin As the language for Vatican clerics, And electronic theology Replace hagiology Making old circuit boards holy relics?
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| | | Jamie
Posts : 2215 Karma : 233 Location : Vermont
| Subject: Re: KEYBOARD CONFESSIONAL April 1st 2013, 12:45 pm | |
| HA! I heard a bit about this subject on the ever-irreverent "Real Time with Bill Maher" and thought, "Online confession? Can't be real." But lo and behold what a font for humor this subject has become! All that's missing is a line of Monty Python monks chanting at the end here and hitting themselves in the heads with their keyboards. I absolutely love the how you present confession in these lines: - Quote :
- Routinely reciting
What I find exciting To celibate men in dark frocks
The limerick-style rhythm of the piece only adds to the overall enjoyment. Brilliant work and exalt! | |
| | | Daniel
Posts : 1616 Karma : 230 Location : under the oak tree with Kiki
| Subject: Re: KEYBOARD CONFESSIONAL April 2nd 2013, 6:19 am | |
| I think that the Pope (or at least the last Pope) has/had a twitter account.. I can only imagine if one day someone signs God up for Twitter.. (if only normal sermons were that short..)
Much enjoyed, this could really work for some people who can't take their noses out of their smart-phones.
~ Daniel | |
| | | sicksoul
Posts : 31 Karma : 9 Location : The black hole that is Nebraska
| Subject: Re: KEYBOARD CONFESSIONAL April 9th 2013, 9:23 am | |
| Rofl.. this is the sort of thing that dehumanizes religion which seems kind of unimaginable considering we're the only know species to indulge in religion. I actually read the article and the poem out loud to my boyfriend and we're both giggling hysterically.. Though that last idea.. that in some distant future these computerized confessionals would be considered holy relics.. that is somehow unnerving and a little haunting. Great write^^ | |
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Had We But Worlds Enough, And Time . . . | November 5th 2013, 11:57 am by Jamie | I never wanted to write this post. Life, however, brings to us changes of necessity, not changes we want.
Unfortunately, and as evidenced by the past few months' activities, I do not have the time to properly govern the use of this site anymore. While there are visitors every day, the posts by members are becoming fewer and farther between, and the staff participation is just as sparse.
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New Poetry Prompt! | July 25th 2013, 2:21 pm by Jamie | Hi friends!
It's been a busy summer for us here at Poet Share, as the sunshine has called us away more than usual. We've posted a new poetry prompt today for you summery, adventurous types.
Let us know if you have any questions or concerns via PM if we're not on site. We hope to be back online fully staffed by mid-September!
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