T H E
N U T T R A C K E R
O N L Y
L I K E S
S W E E T SEvery Thanksgiving, showing no conceitment
Dr. Suey locks the doors right after shock treatment
With a smile he sends the rest of the staff home
And we all eat a big meal right under the hospital dome
But this year someone is missing.. who could it be?
Let us see, the 44th President is sitting right next to me
He is really not the President, but calling him that puts him at ease
He even thinks he looks like him, although the real President is not Chinese
Next to him is PacMan, a pudgy kid from somewhere down south
He walks around chasing ghosts and putting things in his mouth
We have to keep him away from Casper, whom he has been known to bite
One time they got locked in together.. boy, that was a long night.
Across from me, the guy with underwear on his head
Is my old roommate, *whispering* "
I call him Freaky Fred"I moved out of his room when Fred crossed over the line
I came home one night to see the underwear on his head was mine
So Dr. Suey assigned me a new roommate, the Doctor I felt like kissing..
WAIT.. my new roommate Bruce, he is the one that is missing
He is not near the Olsen twins... not those Olsen twins.. think much more scary
Both these guys think they are Merlin Olsen from Little House on the Prairie
Bruce is not anywhere by Elvis or near Superman
I don't see him by King Henry VIII, or Princess Anne
I looked under the table, no Bruce under there
But it looks like Tiny Tim once more fell out of his chair
Where could Bruce be? He's always been a little quirky
Crawling around on his knees, Bruce thinks he is a turkey
He always gets weird around Thanksgiving, he says there are no humanitarians
Dr. Suey usually sits him at the table near the vegetarians
But Paul McCartney went home and Elton John is on tour
And the guy who thinks he is the Easter Bunny is acting.. immature
Yet it's time for dinner to begin, Bruce is missing.. ooh well
We all sit at the dinner table as Dr. Suey rings the bell
"
A toast to you all" Dr. Suey says,
You have all come a long way
Enjoy Thanksgiving, now bow your heads as we listen to Pope John Paul pray"The prayer was short, then the Pope served up seven loafs and some fish
Then someone opened the entree, there was Bruce served on a dish
I had to turn the entree down.. after all, I'm just a guest
Anyone can see that from the way that I'm dressed
I carry a notebook which I use to keep track of everyones receipts
"
No thanks", I said, "
everyone knows...
the nut-tracker only likes sweets"
Subject: The Nuttracker Only Likes Sweets... 
