The Invasion of the Noddy Snatchers

I The Plan

As sun lit a run-down allotment
Two figures sprawled in the thick growth,
There lay Bill & Ben
The flowerpot men
And something was bothering both;

For years they had puffed marijuana
But stocks were low, so full of need
Like two hungry bugs
In place of real drugs
They'd rolled up and smoked Little Weed.

Claimed Bill 'I know how we can score more -
Big Bagpuss the Mafia cat
Has outlined the way
To make a crime pay',
Said Ben 'Fill me in about that!'

While Bill told of kidnap and ransom
Ben smiled and in no time the pair
Went over the job
With each flob-a-lob
Then put Bagpuss down for a share.

In hiring good strong-arm protection
They deemed Bob the Builder as sound,
A muscular sod
Who carried a hod
And liked to throw his weight around.

II The Snatch

All three hid in wait on the outskirts
Of Toytown, Bob's battered old truck
Was parked in the trees,
The quarry to seize
Would turn up soon with any luck.

Then sure enough came the famed rattle
Of that red and yellow-toned car,
A horn parped and called,
With Big Ears on board
Drove Noddy, the cute infant star.

The builder stood wielding his hammer
Which made the boy nervous and twitch,
Bob pulled Big Ears' beard
And as Noddy steered
The car skidded into a ditch.

The flowerpot men grabbed the hostage
Then tied up their terrified prey,
With him in a sack
They laughed in the back
As Bob made a swift getaway.

III The Chase

Now Big Ears, despite many bruises
Would not let his friend come to harm;
To Toytown he went,
He limped pained and bent
Yet managed to raise the alarm.

A posse of Toytowners rallied,
Brave Roobarb and Custard gave chase
And Muffin the Mule
Who dozed as a rule
Woke up as the stampede took place.

Most faltered, the four Teletubbies
Collapsed and though many still ran
The Woodentops dropped
And Mr Benn stopped
But Postman Pat still had his van.

In haste Bob drove on like the clappers,
A roundabout neared as he sped
Where Dougal span round
With Florence who frowned
When Zebedee said 'Time for bed!'

Though Postman Pat tried hard to catch them
At Camberwick Green he would fail -
The black and white cat
Meowed and scratched Pat
Who crashed and spilled all of the mail.

Just when Bill & Ben thought they'd made it,
So close to a drugs overload,
A shape in the air
Made Bob gasp and stare
And take his eyes off of the road.

The truck hit a wall and was halted,
A stray UFO helped the law;
The Clangers whizzed by,
Stuffed socks in the sky
That hooted as Bill & Ben swore.

Arrested by Pinky & Perky,
Two coppers who squeaked at their prize,
Bob gave them both hell
And yelled from his cell
'The best pigs are those in pork pies.'

IV The Outcome

While Bill & Ben went into rehab
Bob's sentence cost his business dear;
For little expense
He painted each fence
In Toytown, which took a whole year.

As Noddy got over the trauma
His friend Big Ears made a good point:
'This grateful old gnome
Has friends and a home
And that beats one puff on a joint.'


©

Awwwwwww this is outstanding in every way, a riot of old BBC childrens characters that might leave our American cousins wondering what the hell is this about! Even some younger Brits wont remeber Muffin the Mule. I was a flower pot groupy when i was 4, the words "bop blop bobba lob" were as powerful to me as "feel the force Luke is to modern kids".
I remember Any Pandy too and lubilou (Tart she was) oh I could go on alll day lol, Larry the Lamb! Mr plod the policeman "Now then larry whats the problem" "Oh Mr Plod Mr. MMMMMaaaaayor is stuck up the chimney" No wonder we all turned out psychotic.

Yeah Muffin the Mule was way over my head but I remember pretty much everyone else. Silverhenge you have out done yourself with this amazing piece of literature, I felt my smile aching on my face just reading each limerick. You are such a talented writer, it makes me jealous how easy you make this seem. Just absolute genius!!! Loved it would be an understatement! Exalt!!!

Thanks Foggy & Augustus

I'm glad you knew most of the characters Augustus, as I was a bit concerned they wouldn't translate well. Noddy's pretty famous round the world though!

ooh my gosh, this reminds me of a dream I had once when I fell asleep watching cartoons.. Really clever and all the "name dropping" you managed to get in.. wow.. There is a laugh a line in this wonderful playful romp, and perhaps even a moral at the end..

~ Daniel

Haha, who's been watching daytime children's TV, silverhenge? Some of these characters are unfamiliar but you made them fit. This is a very entertaining poem with a smoothly flowing story line and great rhyme.
Congrat's for Weekly Featured Poem! H x