There’s a chap up the allotment,
Arthur is his name,
A well respected bloke with a big heart.
Gardening is his passion,
His veg is all home grown,
And his onions are a legend round these parts.
For years now at the village fete,
They’ve won the best in show,
Except the year Ted’s carrots won instead.
Of course it must have been a fix, everybody spoke of it,
And I’m sure old Arthur knew but never said.
He merely gave the slightest shrug,
And packed his onions in his trug, then went,
But not before he shook Ted’s hand.
A gracious gesture, we all noted,
Even those who’d rigged the voting,
As Arthur says though,
“ manners maketh man”!
Now Arthur had a secret,
which I found out quite by chance,
When I saw him one night, off the train from town.
I had to glance twice, but he did look rather nice,
In his sequinned bolero and full length gown!
To conclude....
At the weekends Arthur’s Martha,
Well his secrets safe with me,
As to me, you see, he's just a lovely bloke,
I must say, I was surprised though,
When you think you know a guy,
As the saying goes -
'There's now't as queer as folk'!!!
This is an old one, just thought i'd give it another airing!
Subject: Arthur's Onions 
